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How to Write A Condolence Message | The Ultimate Guide

Writing a sincere condolence letter may be challenging, especially when it comes to expressing your condolences to someone who has lost a beloved. It is critical that your message is kind and empathetic and that you communicate the appropriate emotion without being overly invasive or disrespectful. Fortunately, certain pointers may assist you in writing a meaningful sympathy message in the most appropriate manner. At this moment, the loss led to the feelings of being more alone and desperate than ever, so words of comfort and encouragement are the most necessary to overcome this pain.

Handwriting is forever the best way to show your sincerity. So, how to write a condolence message effectively to console the receiver? Even if you cannot stand by them, you can bring comfort and support to people grieving by following these guidelines.

The effective components of creating a significant condolence message

There are some fundamental principles that you must refer to when writing a condolence message. A good handwritten sympathy letter needs to come from truth and sincerity. In the worst case, your message can become a sharp knife instead of condolence, so be careful before giving it to the receiver. 

The effective components of creating a significant condolence message

Ensure it’s heartfelt

Besides, you must consider selective words that you tend to jot down in your sympathizing letter. Don’t use hurtful words, and you have to paraphrase them to be less painful. They are vulnerable now, so a wish like “he is to beautiful heaven” is better. 

A thorough understanding of the situation

The success of your message is reliant on tact and sensitivity. Check the background information certainly to ensure what you are preparing to do. Don’t show like you know everything, don’t make it as a courtesy, you are responsible for what you write. 

Don’t pretend

As in the first principle, you write a condolence message for genuine comfort, not for courtesy. How to write a condolence message if you don’t really want to do it? No way. They will have a bad look, even hatred for your fakeness. 

Don’t pretend like you know everything, like telling them, “I know this feeling, ” or “I have already overcome a similar pain.” If you’ve never lost someone close to you, claiming to understand how they feel may be ridiculous. Even if you’ve had a catastrophic loss, don’t assume you understand everything. You cannot take their side this way, and you will even have a hateful look in their eyes.

Be sensitive

Be sensitive

They are sensitive at this moment. Therefore, you must be cautious before doing any act. You cannot say something absurd just to comfort them. It even backfired and made them feel angry. Creating an uncomfortable atmosphere on their side, and they will never want to meet you anymore. 

For example, you say that “he is to beautiful heaven” is nonsense and bullshit if they don’t believe in any religion.  

Consider the medium

Do you tend to give them a call or a short message? A short message, a handwritten condolence message, would be a better choice for them to console because they are not ready to pick up the phone. You can give the message along with some suitable flowers to ensure that they can get your intention. 

Share a few unforgettable memories

If the receiver is very familiar to you, it could be your best friend or relatives; you can remember some memorable memories of you and the descent when writing a condolence message for them. 

It’s probably that you also have a chance to meet the deceased to comfort their family with sympathy. So, let’s share this pain with the receiver. Show them you are by their side to get through this terrible event.

How to write a condolence message

How to write a condolence message

Now, how to write a condolence message effectively? You have to consider who the receiver of your letter is. The message will also alter based on how close the receiver is to you.

Writing a sympathy card to a friend will, for example, differ from writing a condolence message to a spouse or family member.

Condolence message to a friend

The two of you are close and have the same generation, so it is easier to share sadness. You can use comfortable words to write a sympathy message for them. They are really weak at the moment; remember that you are just friends, so don’t mention something over the boundary. 

Condolence message to a coworker

Businesswoman comforting frustrated or tired co-worker

Condolence message to a family member

You are each other’s family members, so you and they have the same pain. Also, suffering from the loss of a family member. We all know this is extremely hurtful, but family members need to unite at that time. Forever diving into despair is impossible. Giving everyone in the family words of encouragement is necessary to overcome fear. Remind them that they truly lost one, but there are still other members side by side.

Condolence message to your boss

Your leader is the main key to the success of your work. He/she needs to be back soon after a catastrophic event like that, so you and other colleagues need good preparation to help him overcome. He is too vulnerable right now, so be deliberate before acts. Giving solace messages to show your sympathy as well as raise your boss’s spirit. You can also suggest focusing on work to temporarily forget this pain.

Sample condolence messages

Sample condolence messages

There is a sample for you to refer to before considering how to write a condolence message for an individual. No template is perfect; the most important thing is that the feeling you want to convey in the letter is sincere. Be careful to have a good letter to comfort them instead of making them hate you.

The condolence message below is a typical example: a friend named Jake died.

Dear [name],

I was astonished and grieved when getting information your Jake’s death. I know that you and he have a strong relationship and are meaningful to each other. Your loss must be terrible, I’m sure. Please know that I am always by your side.

Jake was considerate and generous, and he was devoted to his family. I knew I always needed him to support me on any occasion.

I shall treasure my recollections of Jake. I recall first meeting Jake at a prom gathering you gave. Everyone laughed at his jokes and his enthusiasm when making friends with me.

You’ll have a hectic week next week. If you need any help, don’t hesitate to call me. I consider you as my relative. I hope to come over to this hurtful event with you.

I hope you are back soon. Remember, I am thinking of you, and you are not alone.

With love,


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Last Words,

Losing a loved one is one of the most terrifying things in life. It is ferocious to leave one to suffer from this loss alone. You must do something to comfort them, and it’s not an option; it’s an obligation. It will be a day you have to witness the people next to you disappear. At that time, you are also in despair, and it’s time to get return consolations. 

This article leaves you with some notes on how to write a condolence message/ the ultimate guide. This is a sensitive time; either you will work with them through the sadness, or you will make it worse. But don’t worry too much, and they will accept your comfort if it comes from your sincerity.

Luna Miller

I’m Luna Miller, a helpful employee at Loveable. I excel at giving great advice on birthday gifts. I love suggesting memorable experiences like concerts, spas, and getaways. As a reliable and supportive colleague, I’m always there to assist.

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