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100 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes, Messages & Sayings for Sweet Laughter

Valentine’s Day is great, but the pressure can be a lot sometimes. From planning dates to baking special desserts, it can get overwhelming. That’s when funny Valentine’s Day quotes come to the rescue. Friendship is a special kind of love, too – so get ready for playful Valentine quotes for friends as well!

Whether you’re happily single, in a committed relationship, or just here for the laughs, these hilarious memes are for you. It’s okay to find the humor in love; as Valentine’s Day trivia questions prove, love is funny. So buckle up and let the “Cupid’s festivities” begin!

Valentine’s Day Messages That Are Laughable

Valentine's Day messages

Valentine’s Day messages are like heartfelt whispers, conveying love and warmth that words may struggle to capture. In a world filled with love, these messages make this couple’s day a celebration of lovely, vibrant connections.

  1. My love for you is endless, unlike toilet paper. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  1. I love you a little s’more each day. You’re lip-smackin’ sweetness, Valentine!
  1. Will you be mine and my Valentine? Hoping for a big hug and a sweet “Yes!”
  1. Our love is like a rollercoaster—sometimes thrilling, sometimes a bit nauseating, but always an adventure. Happy Valentine’s Day, my ride-or-die!
  1. They say love is all you need, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Happy Valentine’s Day, my sweet-toothed sweetheart!
  1. If laughter is the key to a happy relationship, we’ve got enough keys to open a comedy club. Happy Valentine’s Day to my laughter-loving love!
  1. You’re the reason my diet is always on hold. Happy Valentine’s Day to my snack-loving soulmate!
  1. You’re the only person I’d share my Netflix password with. Happy Valentine’s Day, my binge-watching partner!
  1. I hope this Valentine is not too cheesy. Every pizza me loves every pizza you!
  1. Some people make hearts go pitter-patter, but you make mine dance! You’re the best Valentine ever.
  1. Be my Boo. Or I will be Boo-Hoo! Be mine, Valentine?
  1. If love was a currency, we’d be the richest broke couple. Happy Valentine’s Day to my wealth of laughter and love!
  1. You are the glaze to my donut, the sweet to my heart! Love you, Valentine!
  1. If love were a sport, we’d be the champions of awkward high-fives. Happy Valentine’s Day to my winning teammate!
  1. Sending you 100% pure, organic love, Valentine! Locally sourced hugs and kisses to come.
  1. I’d give you the last French fry. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  1. Happy Valentine’s Day, boo! You’re the only reason I’d bother to shave my legs in winter. Love you the most.
  1. I love you as much as I love canceled plans. Who needs a social life when I have you? Happy Valentine’s Day, snuggle bear.
  1. Roses are red, and violets are blue. You don’t always smell good, but I still love you!
  1. I planned to pack all my love into your Valentine’s, but it was as tricky as squeezing into skinny jeans after Thanksgiving. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hilarious Valentine’s Day Sayings for Him

valentine's day sayings for him

While romance and roses are nice for Valentine’s Day, having a day filled with both love and laughter is often the best gift. To make the celebration more memorable, this list of playful sayings will surely make your other half smile.

  1. “Our love is like Wi-Fi; sometimes it’s strong, sometimes it’s weak, but it always connects us. Love you, Valentine!”
  1. “Our love is like a romantic comedy, but with more snacks and fewer plot twists. Happy Valentine’s Day, my leading man!”
  1. “Are you a beaver? Because, DAM!”
  1. “Celebrating Valentine’s Day with my favorite people: wine and chocolate.”
  1. “If love was measured in eye rolls, we’d be billionaires by now. Happy Valentine’s Day to my eye-rolling king!”
  1. “If laughter is the best medicine, then our relationship is the ultimate cure. Love you more than bacon!”
  1. “I wheely want you to be my Valentine!”
  1. “This fine V-Day, I’m going to spend every single cent I have on my one and only love – me.”
  1. “Our love is like a fine wine—it gets better with time, and I might need a glass or two to survive your dad jokes. Love you!”
  1. “I already killed some helpless flowers for you… What else do you want?”
  1. “I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”
  1. “They say love is blind, but with you, it’s more like a hilarious sitcom. Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite comedy partner!”
  1. “I love you more than chocolate, but please don’t make me prove it.”
  1. “If love were a game, you’d be the cheat code. Happy Valentine’s Day to my partner in crime and love!”
  1. “I really like you, even if my resting bitch face says otherwise!”
  1. “You’re the reason my phone is always on silent mode. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love, my quiet partner!”
  1. “You’re the marshmallow to my hot cocoa—a little nutty, but oh so sweet. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
  1. “I love you because you are almost exactly like me, and I am the best!”
  1. “You’re the reason I smile more, laugh harder, and snore louder. Happy Valentine’s Day, my snuggle buddy!”

Playful Valentine’s Day Sayings for Her

Valentine’s Day sayings for her

Whether it’s a simple “I love you” or a playful compliment, let Valentine’s Day sayings be a source of joy for your significant other. In the language of love, these sayings paint a lovely picture – an enchanting “Cupid” day!

  1. “Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”
  1. “One Valentine’s Day, a magnet said to another magnet, ‘You are very attractive.’”
  1. “Love is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants.”
  1. “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and the reason my diet is always on hold. Happy Valentine’s Day, my delicious delight!”
  1. “Shout out to all of the people buying last-minute gifts on Valentine’s Day.”
  1. “I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”
  1. “There’s no one else I’d rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to.”
  1. “One Day, your prince charming WILL come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.”
  1. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. Also, the roses are wilting. The violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head.”
  1. “Every day, I fall more in love with you, except those days when you really annoy me.”
  1. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
  1. “You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.”
  1. “Will you be my Valentine? That was a rhetorical question. We’re married.”
  1. “Our love is like a fine wine—it gets better with time, and I might need a glass or two to survive your jokes. Love you!”
  1. “You’re the one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy Valentine’s Day, my forever eye-roller!”
  1. “If love was a crime, we’d be serving a life sentence. Happy Valentine’s Day, partner in love and mischief!”
  1. “Love is like a fart—if you have to force it, it’s probably crap. Luckily, our love is as natural as laughter. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
  1. “Our love is like a romantic comedy, but with more snacks and fewer plot twists. Happy Valentine’s Day, my leading lady!”
  1. “You’re the only person I’d share my fries with, and that’s saying a lot. Happy Valentine’s Day, my snackable sweetheart!”
  1. “You’re the reason I remember to check my phone for messages and not just for memes. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes for Couples

funny valentines day quotes for couples

Funny Valentine’s Day quotes remind us that love includes shared laughter. So, enjoy the humor, share a laugh with your partner, and let these amusing quotes make your celebration this year even more special!

  1. “I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” – Tracy Smith
  1. “If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” – Miles Davis
  1. “To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H. L. Mencken
  1. “I was married by a judge. I should’ve asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx
  1. “The thing about Valentine’s Day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.” – Faye Morgan
  1. “You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later, you’re married to a couch that burps.” – Roseanne Barr
  1. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” – Henny Youngman
  1. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  1. “I just want to be friends. Plus, a little extra. Also, I love you.” – Dwight Schrute (The Office)
  1. “I understand Valentine’s Day as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow, and you fall in love.” – Trevor Noah
  1. “Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
  1. “As a man in a relationship, you have two choices: You can be right, or you can be happy.” – Ralphie May
  1. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
  1. “I didn’t fall for you; you tripped me!” – Jenny Han
  1. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry
  1. “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” – Cher
  1. “An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie
  1. “Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.” – Henry Kissinger
  1. “Oh, here’s an idea: Let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.” – Jimmy Fallon
  1. “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.” – Bob Hope

More Short Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

short funny valentines day quotes

Why not make your lover laugh by sharing one of these funny Valentine’s Day quotes on Instagram or with a handwritten note? An enjoyable laugh together is a great way to celebrate your relationship.

  1. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
  1. The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love. – Sophie Monroe
  1. “Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.” – Jim Gaffigan
  1. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott (The Office)
  1. “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
  1. “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji, they don’t love you back.” – Chelsea Peretti
  1. “Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
  1. “You know how people say, ‘You can’t live without love’? Well, oxygen is even more important.” – Dr. Gregory Houser
  1. “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” – Jarod Kintz
  1. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen
  1. “You are never alone on Valentine’s Day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” – Mike Primavera
  1. “Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” – Melanie White
  1. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
  1. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
  1. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
  1. “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
  1. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
  1. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” – Lemony Snicket
  1. “Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair, and devastating, it will be that much easier.” – Mae West
  1. “Can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.” – Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

100. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol 

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Bottom Line

Funny Valentine’s Day quotes bring joy to the celebration, making love more enjoyable for every couple. In the dance of love, a well-timed joke can turn sentimental moments into laughter-filled memories. Laughter is a universal language of love, making each moment special. Cheers to the magic of humor that turns Valentine’s Day into a smiling celebration!

Luna Miller

I’m Luna Miller, a helpful employee at Loveable. I excel at giving great advice on birthday gifts. I love suggesting memorable experiences like concerts, spas, and getaways. As a reliable and supportive colleague, I’m always there to assist.

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