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45 Funniest New Year’s Resolution Memes & Quotes For 2024

April 01, 2024
Written and researched by experts at Avada. Learn more about our methodology

2024 is coming, the year we all promise to hit the gym, cut down on junk food, and then quietly forget about those resolutions by February! But who says resolutions have to be all sweat and no smiles? To kick off the New Year with laughter, we’ve rounded up 45 of the funniest New Year’s resolution memes, quotes, and jokes.

These hilarious tidbits are not just funny; they’re relatable AF. So, let’s dive in and start the year on a lighter note!

15 Hilarious New Year’s Resolution Memes For Your Social Media Posts

To lift your spirits, we’ve gathered some hilarious New Year’s resolution memes that will have you laughing your way into the next year.

  1. When your New Year’s resolution list is longer than a CVS receipt, but you know you’re only going to do the first two… maybe.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. Has anyone counted the calories for those turkeys and dozens of cases of beer?
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. Get ready to scroll faster than ever before because the ‘New Year, New Me’ posts are about to flood your feed.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. When the clock strikes midnight, and someone asks about my New Year’s resolutions… 
    I mean… I’m too busy planning my midnight snack strategy, you know.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. When you’re trying to keep a straight face as your friend tells you their resolution is to stop binge-watching series… while you both know you two are going to finish “The Fall of the House of Usher” on New Year’s Eve.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. When your reflection is already judging you for the workout resolution, that’s definitely ‘gonna’ happen tomorrow. 
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. New Year’s resolutions be like: ‘Catch me if you can!’ And spoiler alert: I can’t.
me trying to hold new year resolution
  1. I heard someone say “8th time’s the charm.”
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1. When the New Year’s resolution is to hit the gym.
gym resolution
  1.  January 1st: The day your house becomes the cleanest, healthiest, most organized place on Earth… for about 24 hours.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1.  New Year’s Resolutions: Expectation vs. Reality
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1.  When you start off feeling like a superhero but end up just super into snacks.
me doing NY resolutions
  1.  It is what it is
new year new me
  1.  Can’t fail if you don’t do it, right?
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes
  1.  Let’s get into business.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Memes

15 Funny New Year Resolution Quotes To Welcome 2024 With A Laugh

Funny New Year Resolution Quotes
  1. “Embracing 2024 with a resolution to exercise more – like lifting the TV remote.”
  2. “Weight loss resolution: I’m on a seafood diet; I see food, and I eat it.”
  3. “May the New Year bring you the courage to break your resolutions early!”
  4. “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
  5. “Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week, you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
  6. “Procrastination resolution: I’ll start working on it… tomorrow.”
  7. “May 2024, bring Wi-Fi connections as strong as your resolutions.”
  8. “Positive resolution: aiming to be as optimistic as my blood type – B positive!’
  9. “I’m gonna read more this year, even if it’s just Instagram captions.”
  10. “My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight… by ordering a smaller pizza.”
  11. “My New Year’s resolution is to stop telling myself, ‘You need to go to the gym!’ and start saying, ‘Don’t bother, you won’t go.’”
  12.  New Year’s resolution: Be more awesome than last year. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!
  13. “My New Year’s resolution? Achieve a perfect beach body… by finding a beach and lying on it!”
  14. “May your troubles be as short-lived as your New Year’s resolutions!”

15 Jokes On New Year Resolution To Tell At Your Festive Parties

Jokes On New Year Resolution
  1. Why did the resolution break up with the calendar? It felt too restricted.
  2. What’s a procrastinator’s New Year’s resolution? To start it next year.
  3. How do you measure the success of a New Year’s diet? By the scale of laughter when you cheat.
  4. What’s a snowman’s resolution? To keep his cool all year round.
  5. Why did the scarecrow make a New Year’s resolution? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.
  6. What’s a computer’s New Year’s resolution? 4K, but with fewer bytes.
  7. Why did the math book make a resolution? It wanted to turn over a new leaf.
  8. What’s the resolution of a detective on New Year’s Eve? To solve more cases, one clue at a time.
  9. Why did the gardener make a New Year’s resolution? To grow a better future.
  10. What’s the gym-goer’s resolution? To exercise the right to remain fit.
  11. Why did the candle make a resolution? It wanted to burn brighter in the new year.
  12. What’s a comedian’s New Year’s resolution? To deliver more punchlines in 2024.
  13. Why did the cat make a New Year’s resolution? It wanted to paws for self-reflection.
  14. What did the clock say at midnight on New Year’s Eve? “Time to face the music.”
  15. Why did the calendar apply for a job? It wanted to have more dates in the new year.

New Year’s Resolution memes: Wrapping Up

We hope this collection of New Year’s resolution funny memes, witty quotes, and hilarious jokes has given you a lighthearted perspective on the year ahead.  So, whether you’re sticking to your resolutions or tossing them aside with a smile, here’s to a joyful and laughter-filled 2024! May your year be filled with happiness, humor, and all the good things life has to offer. We hope this collection of New Year’s resolution funny memes, witty quotes, and hilarious jokes has given you a lighthearted perspective on the year ahead.  Cheers to a fantastic year ahead! In this spirit of cheer and new beginnings, our team extends heartfelt company happy new year wishes to you and yours.


Sam Nguyen is the CEO and founder of Avada Commerce, an e-commerce solution provider headquartered in Singapore. He is an expert on the Shopify e-commerce platform for online stores and retail point-of-sale systems. Sam loves talking about e-commerce and he aims to help over a million online businesses grow and thrive.